Don't ever give me your house keys. Ever.

I have had two mishaps with house keys lately and I'm feeling rather crappy about myself because of them.

MISHAP #1
As you may know, I'm new to LA and therefore new to the world of valeting. I have actually only valet-ed three times:
The first was when we were out here on our re-con mission and we drove to dinner with K&M.
The second was at our first girl's-night dinner.
The third was last Tuesday. I met L for dinner at CPK on Ventura and they had complimentary but obligatory valet service. All you had to do was get your ticket stamped at CPK and the valet service was free. So after dinner we both pulled out our tickets and I saw, for the first time, the writing on the wall: ONLY LEAVE IGNITION KEY.

"Oh," I exclaimed, "Was I not supposed to leave my whole ring?"

"No," L said, "I never do. But you live with your husband, I'm sure it will be fine. Just don't do it again."

So we got back to our cars, I tipped generously and then I popped open the glove box. Sure enough, right on top, was a piece of paper with SMS's name and our address. Lovely. I called him and asked him what he thought we should do, but he was busy and couldn't really focus on my concern. When I got home later that night we had a big fight about it and neither of us slept at all.

Now in reality, as Mr. Happy said, the chances of this being a real problem are infinitesimal and K says she does this all the time, but of course with my constant fear of rape and murder, none of this helps all that much. Call a locksmith, you say. And part of me thinks I should. The other part me says, get over it. I have since put my car key on a separate ring and will never make that mistake again.

And why, you might ask, if I have valeted twice before, is this the only time I am freaking out about it? Well, the first time, we didn't HAVE house keys and the second time I was on the Westside, which made me feel "safer" because our apartment is far enough away that, really, who would bother?!

MISHAP #2
I am in the middle of mishap #2 right now, though you wouldn't know it it look at me.

If you happened to come upon me at this very moment, you would see a young-ish woman, in a Hines Ward jersey, happily blogging on her friend's front porch. Aside from the fact that Steelers lost today (more on that below), you would think I am quite content. But what you wouldn't know is that the reason I am on my friend's porch is this: K let me have her keys today so that I could watch the Steelers on the NFL Sunday ticket we share at her place. Normally she and M are here along with a couple of other LA Steeler fans, but today she had to be elsewhere and none of the usuals were free, so I came over to watch alone. And when I left, I locked up and threw the keys though the mail slot as she requested. . .

And then I realized that I had left a ground-level window open. . .

So I called her to see what I should do. I figured there were three options:
1 - Nothing - go home and hope for the best.
2 - Sit on the porch and wait for her to come home.
3 - Rip open the screen, crawl in the window, shut the window, re-lock the house and throw the keys back through the mail slot.

I haven't heard back from her -- that was two hours ago. I did some errands around her neighborhood and then I came back to sit vigil until I hear from her and she tells me what to do.

So yeah, don't lend me your keys. Ever.

. . .And about 'dem Stillers -- don't worry, it's going to be ok.
Hines Ward will get healthy again.
Polamalu's "abdomen" will get better (can anyone say diarrhea?!)
And frankly, if we had to lose, I'd rather it be when we were up 3-0 than when we were up 6-0. That would be just too devastating -- this, on the other hand, is humbling.

And actually, I had a good Steeler day -- when I left the house I almost ran over a guy in a #7 jersey, then, at Jamba Juice on Ventura (same shopping center as the aforementioned CPK) a guy asked if I was excited about the game -- turns out here was a Steeler's fan from Northern Cali (will someone please explain to me how non-Burghers decided to be Steeler's fans?! - not that I'm complaining...) and then, when I left K's to run my errands, I almost hit another kid with a #7 jersey on. So yeah, Steeler Nation is representing in LA, never fear. We're going to be just fine. It's not like we're the Mets.....(I know, cheap shot.)

**UPDATE**
K&M came home and thought I was very silly, but appreciated my diligence in guarding their house. M is a little bit excited that I am afraid of him. He says that bodes well for his ability to parent! A little bit of fear could probably keep a lot of teenagers in line!