Before

Anyone who knows me knows that today, September 10th, is an important day to me. I was in New York in 2001 and I have been profoundly affected by that time in my life. Below is a piece I wrote in 2002 that inspired The Before Project.

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"There was a time I called before..."

On September 10th, 2001 I was at the Annual MTC Pie-Off, and yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. 50 or so Manhattan Theatre Club employees and various and sundry significant others get together in a beautiful home in Brooklyn for a pot-luck supper and pie baking contest. There are two categories in the pie baking competition: fruit and non-fruit, and no, that does not refer to the pie-baker, but to the pie itself. Also, it's pies only – NO TARTS!

I had started working at MTC approximately 2 weeks earlier, and though I'd say I'm outgoing sort of person, I really didn't know that many people yet, and they really didn't know me. Around 2 o'clock on the 10th I received a call from Andy Hamingson, MTC's Director of Development and one of the co-hosts of the Pie-Off. He asked if I had baked a pie. I panicked – I had NOT baked a pie. Would he think I had poor team spirit, a lack of enthusiasm for my new job; was I boring? I hemmed and hawed (as my grandmother used to say) and eventually admitted that I had not baked a pie. Great, he said, would you be a judge? Sure, I blurted out, and that was that. . .except for one problem: I HATE PIE. There are two problems with pie:

1) Gooey fruit – who's bright idea was that?
AND
2) Nuts. Nuts on their own are fine, nuts contaminating baked goods? Who's bright idea was THAT?

But there I was, with a whole afternoon to contemplate my fate.

Around 6pm, as we were gathering our things to leave for the Pie Off, my boss decided that he and our intern could handle the 8am meeting he had scheduled for the next day and the Education Assistant and I could come in at the regular time (10am). I didn't know at the time what huge difference that decision would make in my life. Of course I was thrilled – this meant I could drink at the Pie Off (nothing like getting drunk in front of new co-workers!) AND I would have time to vote before work in my first New York primary – but really, when I think of how different that Tuesday would have been had I been in mid-town Manhattan at 8am instead of Brooklyn I sort of have the feeling that everything does happen for a reason. The thing I am most thankful for when it comes to September 11th is obviously my life, but beyond that, the fact that Sam and I were together and the fact that my mother was the first person I spoke to after seeing the Towers on fire with my own eyes made that day . . .I was going to say bearable. . .let's just say it made it a million times better than it could have been.

But back to September 10th. I don't know who in the crowd of expectant pie-bakers and curious onlookers noticed, but I know Sam had a blast watching me eat what seemed like never-ending slices of pie with oodles and oodles of gooey fruit and offensive nuts (usually not in the same pie, thankfully). I have to admit though, it was fun. I actually stopped and thought for a moment: this is it, this is the job I want, this is the life I want, this is how things are supposed to be (without the gooey fruit part!).

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The Before Project was my attempt to remind people that no matter how much we were each impacted by "September 11th," we each had hopes and dreams before that day that are still valid.

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of September 11th that SMS and I will spend outside of New York City. I am sad about that. I wish I could take the day off and take a long walk in a canyon or on the beach, but with the High Holidays coming I will be taking other days off. I will try to find a way to stop and remember. To remember the sanctity of the day and to remember "a time before."