Ten Year Night

SMS and I met 10-years-ago tonight. We've been together ever since. This is what we look like ten years later. The sweatshirt is 20 years old. It used to be my brother's. He wants it back.

TEN YEAR NIGHT
by Lucy Kaplansky

There is no one else around
The road is quiet, the only sound
Is wind that sounds like cars that sound like breathing
The desert air is hot and dry
Two lanes weaving earth and sky
The stars are all that's keeping time till morning
And I turn and look beside me
And you're sleeping like a baby
And you haven't heard a word that I've been saying
And the way you look tonight
Fast asleep in the dashboard light
Well I can't speak, and that's how I feel

Open your eyes and look at me, and look at me
Open your eyes and look at me
'Cause I have and hold this love for you
Before this ten year night is through
I'm telling you
Take it from me, take it from me

We're ten years older I know we are
Than the night we met in that downtown bar
You thought I was some kind of star, that's what you said
I felt your skin, I felt the heat
As you pulled me out into the street
And you kissed me there till I was weak 'cause I asked you to
And later on on your kitchen floor
Two flights above the grocery store
I felt things I never felt before, and still do

. . .Going eighty on the highway
we're all rushing somewhere
But the way I feel tonight
It's like I'm already there. . .

My Back Came Back!

Evidently, I spoke/posted too soon. Apparently, Naprosen is a wonder drug (which I actually knew from my summer camp days when one of my friends had been prescribed Anaprox for her menstrual cramps -- she was more than happy to share and we dubbed the pill "Bliss").

Cousin Andrew and SMS had a lovely breakfast at Du-Par's with L and then went to In-N-Out to get me a Single Cheeseburger Animal Style (Andrew had a Double Double Animal Style) and I had to get out of bed to eat it because even I, in the pain I was in, was not going to attempt an In-N-Out in bed! Amazingly, I felt better. It took the meds about 3 hours to kick in, but when they did, they did! After lunch we headed out to the beach. SMS and Andrew took a quick hike and I sat on the beach reading and listening to music. It was a glorious day and it certainly helped to restore my perspective. (It also made me feel really stupid, because rather than going to Target once a week, I could be going to the beach. Duh! Will have to work on that in 2008.)

This is what Point Dume looks like on New Year's Eve Day:













After the beach we stopped at a bar for beer (for the boys) and appetizers (all around) and we saw this sign (it made us laugh really hard and think about all of our friends and family "back east"):













So love to all and stay warm. We miss you and we love you. Happy New Year!

When you throw your back out, where does it go?

Today is New Year's Eve Day and I am very much looking forward to saying goodbye to 2007.

It wasn't that it was a bad year; in fact, in many ways, it was a good one, but all in all, it was very, very hard. When I said this to SMS on top of Calabassas Peak yesterday he said "What year isn't?!" and I thought, wow, he's right. I am constantly amazed at how hard it is to be an adult. It's much harder than I thought it would be.


So as if to kick me in the pants for deriding it, 2007 has left me flat in bed with my back thrown out. I would however like to report that I do have very good friends because within 5 minutes of discovering this, I was offered Naproxen, Darvocet and Oxycodone. Good friends indeed. I opted to start with the least scary, Naproxen, and am currently propped up in bed typing with Henry The Cat on my chest and Mae The Cat next to me giving herself a bath. My hope is to get this under control enough to go out for sushi tonight, but I'm not making any promises.

So a typical December 31st post would include a recap of the previous year, a top ten list or two, maybe some things I am grateful for and a few hopes for the new year. I'm not sure I have any of that in me right now. . .In fact, I think I am severely lacking some perspective these days.

I think I'll just leave you, and 2007, with some pictures from the last week. My mom was visiting for 8 days and then my cousin arrived. Here are some highlights:
(Susan P. backstage at Wicked, Buddah at Norton Simon in Pasadena, Me and SMS in Venice, Susan P. and me at The Getty, SMS and Susan P. outside Vitello's, Cousin Andrew at Calabassas Peak)

H-Man Is Home!

So I brought Henry home and he looks pretty good to me (this photo is a few weeks old)! I know looks can be deceiving and the vets seem considerably concerned, but for now, I'm just thrilled to have him home!

Basically he is "stable in heart failure" which means that the X-rays say he is in heart failure but he is not showing any outward signs of it. I am hoping that this is actually Henry's "norm." Henry is just a cat with a really big heart (which we knew all along!) and that while he may not live to be 18 I hope this isn't as dire as they think it is.

Obviously we'll take it day-to-day, hope for the best and pay close attention to his breathing and behavior. Thanks for all your emails and calls!

On Cats

We have two very special cats. We adopted them in September of 2002 from a lovely couple in Brooklyn, Y&E, who had rescued them from a lot on Henry Street around the corner from our apartment. They are brother and sister from a two cat litter - the Alpha cat, Mae (left), who currently weighs somewhere around 18 pounds and who is on Prozac to treat her need to pee on the carpet, and Henry (right), the runt, who weighs just over 8 pounds. Henry has always had a host of health problems that tended towards the annoying rather than the serious, until yesterday.

Over the past several days we noticed he had been throwing up more than usual (his food allergies cause him to throw up a fair amount anyway, but something had definitely changed). I had some free time so I called the vet on a whim to see if she could seem yesterday morning and to my surprise, she could fit him in.

She examined him and seemed fairly confident that the symptoms were related to the food allergies, however she wanted to do X-rays to make sure he hadn't aspirated some of the food he was throwing up (because he had developed a bit of a wheeze). She was gone for a long time and when she came back she said she was sorry that she had bad news. She showed me his X-rays and explained that his heart was enlarged and that the sac containing the heart had a lot of fluid in it. She told me that she wanted me to see a cardiologist immediately and that it was
possible he could die on the way to the animal hospital.

That was not what I was expecting to hear, but I called SMS and he said he could meet me there, so off I went.

The animal hospital was a little cold for my taste, but the cardiologist seemed nice. She examined Henry and was ready to see us as right as SMS arrived. She told us that she needed to keep Henry for a few hours and explained that she was going to do some sonograms, some blood work, and, if necessary, use a needle to take away the fluid around the heart. It was about 1:30 and she asked us to come back around 5:30. We called at 3:30 and were told that his blood work was ok and they still needed to do the sonograms.

When we arrived it took them a while to see us and that made us very nervous. When the cardiologist came out she told us we couldn't bring Henry home that night because he did not let them get all the tests done that they needed to do. (He is deceptively strong!) She did however tell us what she knew:

Henry has an enlarged left atrium and a very small left ventricle due to muscular build up. What the original vet thought was fluid, and therefore an immediate situation (in that the fluid could prevent the heart from functioning), was actually all the enlarged left ventricle, which is a more serious condition in many ways, but not as immediate as his heart was still functional, though not in a completely healthy way.

As she sees it, even though she doesn't have all the data yet, it's one of two things:
-- Hyperthyroid induced heart disease
or
-- Idiopathic Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, which is heart disease with
no discernible underlying cause

She believes it is more likely that it is the latter, which unfortunately is the more serious/complicated condition. In either case it will be treated with medicine, but in the case of the latter, as there is no underlying cause which can be treated, he will progressively get worse and she doesn't expect him to last a year.

And, unfortunately there is another complication: the particular heart disease/deformity he has can lead to blood clots which have the unfortunate ability to lodge near the base of the spine and cause great pain and paralysis. A clot like this almost always results in euthanasia as the there is no treatment for the pain or the paralysis.

We are hopeful we will get to bring him home today and spend some time with him here. Mae is hanging in there and we are being careful to make sure she is well looked after without her partner in crime. She actually took care of us in the middle of the night last night when SMS felt nauseous.

Today the carpet cleaners are coming in the morning and our new bed is being delivered in the afternoon. I hope I will have Henry home by then, or if not, that we can pick him up once the bed is delivered.



Think good thoughts and imagine him home with us soon.

On Plumbing

This week I had two preliminary conversations about two different jobs and one real, in-person interview that went fairly well. I would say that that was a good week, except right now I'm wondering how long one (namely, me) can go without going to the bathroom before one (namely, me) gets hurt.

This morning Sam woke me up around 7am to say good bye when we heard a very loud "bubble" coming from the hall bathroom. Imagine the noise a REALLY LARGE water cooler would make if it made a bubbling noise. Over the next 40-minutes it became apparent that both toilets were clogged and dirty water was coming up from the drains in the bathtub in the "master" bath and the shower stall in the hall bath which then promptly overflowed onto the floor and then out to the hall carpet. After many panicked calls to the landlord and much pleading he informed me that a real plumber, not his surly old father, would be here between 9am and noon. So right now the cats and I are camped out in my bedroom. I have brought their food and water in here along with their litter box that I just saw Mae (thankfully!) use successfully. (Camping out in here is the only way I can ensure they don't play with the dirty water in either of the bathrooms or the hallway.) We're not such happy campers here and I'm sure none of you reading this will ever want to come over ever again.

The cleaning people are scheduled to come on Tuesday to help us get ready for my mom's visit (though she just may cancel after reading this) and I am trying to think positively that this will all be worked out by then so the professionals can clean up the mess, but who knows!

Right not I'm just trying to calm my bladder and I am thankful that when Henry woke me up at 4am with a fake puking attack I went to the bathroom!

I know our rent is cheap because this is a family run building which is not professionally managed, but I am starting to doubt the wisdom of that choice.

**UPDATE**
Apparently 6 hours is as long as I can go without going to the bathroom. Against my better judgment I went in the "master" bathroom, flushed and then quickly plunged. It does not seem to have made anything worse and I certainly feel much better. Though still totally grossed out. For more "Jamie on Toilets" fun click here.

**UPDATE 2**
Plumber has arrived.

**UPDATE 3**
The plumber is really nice and making progress by snaking from the garage/basement. He says that none of the fixtures are blocked but the sewer line out of the building is. He says we share that line with the people above us (the same people we park next to who have dinged our cars on a number of occasions and who supposedly had a "robbery" when money was stolen out of a drawer (but nothing else was taken) in their unlocked apartment shortly after we moved in). He also recommends we don't flush our kittie litter and he said he would keep that recommendation "just between us" so we didn't get in trouble with the landlords.

**FINAL UPDATE**
I have bleached the tar out of everything bleacable in the master bath. I am not getting in the shower to do the same to my body. I have called the cleaning people to come tomorrow rather than Tuesday. Hopefully this is the end of it. Famous last words.

The Afterlife

My own thoughts about heaven and hell are contradictory. I am a scientific being with a supreme belief that science can and does explain everything. I was not raised with religion beyond a menorah and potato pancakes and I never feared a hell or aspired to a heaven. Still, when I think of my dead relatives, I think of them as being “up there,” looking down on me, and occasionally impacting my day-to-day life. It doesn’t make any sense. I shouldn’t look skyward when I think about my dad, but I do.


Jews, at least the ones that raised me, don’t believe in “going to a better place.” When a Jew dies it is not because Jesus wanted that person in “HIS” world rather than in ours. When a Jew dies it is because it is our time: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Although I was raised with very little religion and even less faith, I was raised with a Jewish perspective on death and dying. And it worked for me. I was taught to say “I hope you are able to find comfort in the memories of your (mother/father/grandparent).” I was taught to find comfort in my own memories.

I lost friends earlier than most: traffic accidents, drunk driving, suicide; but the first truly debilitating loss came when I was already 24 and my grandmother passed away. It was a real turning point in my life as it was the first real experience I had with permanence. It seemed everything else in my life was fluid; things I didn't like could be fixed or done over. But with my grandmother gone I experienced for the first time what “never” meant. All my truths were reset. I actually stopped writing for a long time after her death. I think it was because I realized I didn’t know anything about anything.

After her death, I was lucky to be visited by her in very vivid dreams. Some of them took place in the past – in her old house when I was a kid – and some of them took place in the future – my cousin’s wedding that was still years away. And some of them, the ones I liked the most, were actual conversations between my dead grandmother and me. Conversations in which she acknowledged that she was indeed gone and present in my dream at the same time. This was the first time I came up against things that couldn’t be explained by science. Except that they could.

What if my grandmother’s visits, and later, my grandfather’s and my dad’s, were not a “sign” of a spiritual life in the hereafter – what if they were that life? What I mean to say is: when a song comes on the radio and it seems that my dead father tuned it in specifically for me, maybe the feeling I have in my gut is heaven. Maybe heaven doesn’t exist for the dead; maybe it is a creation of the living, but one that does not negate it any way.

It’s not that it is “made-up” and therefore “make-believe,” maybe making it up, makes it so.

Yesterday I went to a JV Jags basketball game. Just after half-time I started to have a physical reaction to being in a gym and watching kids play ball. The quality of the light, the sounds, the smells all reminded me of my childhood. I don’t know how much of my time was spent in a gym watching my dad’s teams play, but sometimes it feels like it was 90% of the 80s.



I started to tear up, but I was mostly able to hold it together. Then my clothing started to feel like it was too tight. Had I not been video taping the game, I would have stepped outside. Had SMS’s kids not been frittering away a 12-point lead, I would have stepped outside. But I didn’t want to miss anything and I wanted to support my husband and take a good game video for him to use in practice. I thought I would be ok.

But then a kid went down and out of the stands walked a 300lb man in a dark velour (possibly Fila) tracksuit. Although he was black and wearing a hat, something my dad never did, he walked like he owned the world (maybe all “heavyset” men walk the same way?) and I lost my composure.

Did the universe conspire to give me just a bit more than I could handle? Did my dad have something to do with the series of events that left me a shivering mess in the JCC bathroom? Or is it just the fact that I can have these feelings at all – that I can be moved to tears by a fat man in a tracksuit (who turned out to be the varsity coach) – that IS my heaven and not a “symptom” or a "sign" of it.

I have no idea.

I would like to think my father is programming the radio stations I listen to – it would certainly explain the amount of Queen played on the radio out here and the fact that Rod Stewart’s "Young Turks" was playing on my way to Costco this morning. But my dad raised me to put my trust in science. And my mom taught me that because you are the one that looks yourself in the mirror every morning that you are responsible to you, and not a higher power.

I did make it through the game to see the JV Jags pull out their first win. SMS was thrilled and my freak-out only dampened the mood slightly.

As the second anniversary of my father’s death approaches I still find it utterly impossible that he is dead. And yet, I know he is.

On Fences

I saw this on my neighborhood walk yesterday:
















Fences, toilets, power poles?! That's just wrong.

And this is what I woke up to this morning:
















I have a feeling this is going to be the beginning of a series of posts...see, what I actually woke up to this morning was the sound of this fence being put up, right next to our building, right outside our bedroom window. They are tearing this little house down (and the one behind it) to put up new condos. I have a feeling I'm going to be waking up to some seriously unpleasant sounds for the next year or so. Hmpf.

On Cupping

So, a few of you have asked about the cupping.


















Here's a quick link to an article about Gwyneth Paltrow's cupping fiasco in 2004.

As for me, I have been seeing an acupuncturist for the past month in an attempt to calm my very tense back/hip/butt. Yup, you heard me -- I have a tight butt! Actually, I have Piriformis Syndrome, which is commonly referred to as "a pain in the butt." The piriformis is a muscle that attaches the spine to the hip. I'm not sure why the diagram below shows the piriformis on only one side as I'm pretty sure it exists on both sides of the spine.


















I was diagnosed several years ago (some of you may remember the time when I couldn't go from sitting to standing without looking like a 90-year-old with osteoporosis) but I had been able to keep it under control thanks to an AMAZING doctor of osteopathic medicine in New York who performed manual manipulations, much like a chiropractor, but different.

Unfortunately, though I asked several times, she refused to relocate with me, so I was forced to explore other options for pain management. I started with massage (enjoyable, but not so much relief) and then I saw a chiropractor -- I decided not to let him adjust me. The pain was escalating when a friend in New York recommended I see his friend out here, an acupuncturist in Santa Monica. He's been working me with needles for a couple of weeks but although some ancillary problems (my jaw, headaches, etc.) got better, my back was not showing any sign of improvement - so last week he "cupped" me. And I'm happy to report, I feel better than I've felt in months. I'm going back later this week, most likely for more acupuncture, but possible some cupping as well. It's good stuff.

Week in Review

I've had a very nice week.

To start with, the Steelers beat the Dolphins 3-0 on Monday Night Football. The details are unimportant, as is the fact that for a few moments I actually thought we might (gasp!) lose to the Dolphins. But we prevailed!

On Tuesday I took the car to get looked at. People at SMS' school recommended a guy near the school and he was great! In 25 minutes and for 35 bucks my bumper is now firmly attached to my car. No more speeding for me! (Ha ha - that was sort of funny!)

Tuesday night was SMS's debut as a JV basketball coach. It was not the debut we were hoping for, but an accomplishment none the less. SMS has taken on a lot as a first year teacher and he's managing really well. We celebrated at P.F.Chang's with our friend B and his adorable daughter (who slept through the whole thing!).




















On Wednesday I helped out my friend's family with a trip to Target (I really do love it there!) because they aren't able to get out.

On Thursday I went BACK to Target to get things for a baby shower I am throwing this coming weekend. Seriously, I love it there - Target maybe one of my favorite stores EVER!

Thursday night I had pizza with my friends and their parents who were in town from the 'burgh and who happen to be friends of my mom's. It was nice to have some Pittsburgh time!

Friday I had two appointments on the other side of the hill - acupuncture (which turned into cupping!) in Santa Monica and a GP appointment in Beverly Hills. I had purposely scheduled them a few hours apart -- I figured I could explore a new neighborhood in between -- but of all things, the weather conspired against me. It rained! In Beverly Hills! I swear! But I survived -- though some people might disagree! (See below.)














Friday night SMS's cousin (who was in town from Toronto) treated us to amazing sushi and sashimi at Jinpachi on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. Amazing, truly amazing.















Saturday I helped K&M move K's mom into a new place in Pasadena. There wasn't much to carry, but they took me out for pastrami anyway - yum!

And Sunday L took me on a brand new hike (to me, that is) in Griffith Park near the observatory. Very, very cool. And we didn't even get lost! Below you can see the view of the observatory from the top of Mt. Hollywood. Very cool.



















And then the Steelers won, again! Twice in one week! At night, in the rain, both times - on regular TV! What could be better that?! Good food, good friends and two wins in a week. WOO-HOO!

I like LA.

November Photos

Click here for My Life in Pictures, November 2007.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

SMS got this from someone at school and I checked it out -- It looks like a legit warning so I pass it on to you (my 4 faithful readers!):

Most of us take summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of fraud has surfaced. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer will offer to let you off with "just" a fine. They will ask for a credit card as well as a Social Security number and date of birth so he/she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and the results could be disastrous. With enough information, scammers can assume your identity and empty your bank accounts.

This fraud is spreading and has been reported so far in 11 states, including California. The scam is particularly insidious because the caller pretends to be with the court system and uses threats and intimidation in an attempt to bully people into giving out their information. The FBI and the federal court system have reported it on their web sites and issued nationwide alerts warning consumers about the fraud. You can read about it at http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm

The Knight in the Shining Lucy

This is a picture of L jumping for joy as SMS, in Lucy the Silver Bullet, pulled up to the parking lot at the Fryman Canyon overlook today.

"Why was she jumping for joy?" you ask.
Because we were stuck there and SMS came to rescue us.

"How did that happen?" you ask.
It started innocently enough.

For a few weeks L and I had been toying with the idea of changing up our hiking route. Typically we hike Wilacre Park: we enter off of Fryman Road, near Laurel Canyon, and we exit on Iredell. It takes us about 50-minutes to do the whole loop. We have known for a while that there is a "second part" to this hike off of Iredell that takes you up to Mulholland Drive, so today, L brought snacks and we gave it a try. It was more strenuous and more desolate than our typical route, and we liked that. However, there were far fewer markings than we expected and a lot more "up-and-down" rather than the "up-up-up" we expected, but we ran into a few nice people and a few cute dogs and even spent a little time in a rain forest!














It was a nice hike all around, but when we reached Mulholland, an hour and fifty minutes after we started, we realized we were pretty much stuck up there. We had a few options:

1. Try to go back the way we came (we weren't sure we'd be able to find our way),
   
2. Try to go back another way that some other hikers recommended (we weren't sure we'd be able to find their way),
   
3. Ask a "normal" looking person for a ride down the hill (against our better judgement and the advice of our both of our mothers),
4. Walk along Mulholland, in either direction, to try to find a more direct way back to our cars,
5. Call my husband, L's boyfriend or a cab!

We actually decided on a combination of the two. We thought we had a good chance of making it back to the car via Mulholland and Laurel Canyon, so we headed off on foot only to get scared by a couple of hairpin turns that left us blind to oncoming traffic. I decided to text SMS to warn him we'd be about an hour late due to the fact that we got a little bit "lost," or, more accurately, "stuck." Thankfully he offered to come get us and that's why you see L jumping for joy above.

The whole experience reminded me of a time at Long Lake Camp when, in the summer of 1990 or 1991, Bruce, the Australian rocketry counselor (yes, there was a rocketry counselor, and a circus program!) took us for a hike on which we got lost, all the while hearing the whir of cars on the highway nearby, but not being able to get to the road. Eventually, somehow, the camp director showed up in a school bus to get us. He was none to happy with Bruce and I remember we really weren't allowed to joke about it that summer.

Before today I'm not sure I would have believed that you could get lost in a park in LA. Granted, we weren't lost, we knew where we were and where we wanted to go, we just couldn't figure out how to do it, but I was afraid if we tried to go back the way we came we would get lost and I wasn't willing to take that chance.

------------------------------------------------

In other news, someone stole our New York Times today (bummer!) and part of my bumper is no longer attached to my car (major bummer!). I'll have to deal with that tomorrow.

Still not working and no interviews scheduled.

Strange place this Los Angeles, strange, strange place.

Thanksgiving

What I am thankful for today...

1. My Husband
SMS is really coming into his own in his career. Last night he said these exact words: "Teaching 9th and 10th grade World History and coaching basketball is really a dream come true. I don't know how this happened!" I told him it was because he was smart and worked hard and had an uncanny rapport with teenagers. He's really good at his job and when he's happy at work he is even more fun to be around. I am thankful we found each other and that we are surviving the current transition in our life. I am also grateful to his employer for providing health insurance for both of us free of charge. That has given me the freedom to look for a job that will be right for me and not to jump at the first thing that comes along...not that anything has actually come along yet...


2. My Cats
Henry and Mae have also had a rough transition to the West Coast, but they are still the cutest, sweetest, most wonderful friends to us. We feel lucky that even when we are having a great time on vacation, we look forward to going home to see our furry friends. These days Henry sleeps right between us and though Mae is a bit more independent (preferring the red chair or ottoman), every once in a while she'll spend the night at the foot of the bed. She did last night! Thanks to the Prozac, Mae is peeing in the box again and thanks to the change in climate, Henry is throwing up less. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I am very grateful for the two of them.

3. My Family















I have a small family: I have one brother. My mom has one sister. My dad had one brother. When you tell someone you've just moved across the country they often ask:
"Do you have family out here?"
When I say "No," they often ask:
"Are you close to your family?"
" I am," I say.
I basically text or talk to my brother every day. I email or talk to my mom daily. I am in touch with my three first cousins frequently. (I've always been close with J, but as an adult I have become close to A and R also and they all mean so much me.) I also have a couple "fake" or "not exactly cousins" who mean a great deal to me. And even though around the holidays it is hard not to feel sad for all the family I've lost, it's important to me to focus on all the love they brought into my life before they left. Sometimes I feel like I've lost more love than some people have in a lifetime, but then I remember you can't really lose love, you just have to look for it harder.

4. My Friends Out Here
K&M, R&D and L have made this transitions not only easier than it would have been otherwise but fun, too! I don't know what we would have done without them. I don't like to think about it! We're spending today with R&D and their family. We're very thankful they have included us.




5. My Friends Everywhere















We left behind a lot of important people in New York. We also have friends all over the world that we wish we could see more often. Thanks to the wonders of the internet and unlimited long distance it's easier to keep in touch than it once was (like back when I got yelled at monthly for my phone bill due to my summer camp friends in other states!) but certainly IM, email and phone calls don't compare to hanging out. I feel lucky to be the kind of person who can fall back into friendships pretty easily even after months or years of little contact, but it doesn't mean I miss my friends any less.

6. My Challenges
Although sometimes I like to pretend I'm perfect, I know I have a lot to work on. I appreciate the situations in my life that have allowed for (and continue to allow for!) growth.

7. My Health and The Health of Those Around Me
Even though my back has been acting up and I miss my D.O. in New York terribly, I'm thankful that my health problems are minor and manageable. My family has seen it's share of tragedy in the health area, but I am grateful this year that everyone seems to be doing ok.

8. Football
You heard me, FOOTBALL! GO STILLERS!

Love to all and Happy Thanksgiving!

This Past Weekend

SMS and I were treated to another visit from my brother, Mr. Happy, this weekend. I love it when he's here because we eat really good food and I get to do things that I don't normally get to do. The last time he was here coincided with my birthday -- this time it was his turn: Mr. Happy turned 35 last Thursday!

I picked him up at the Burbank airport on Friday morning and we went to lunch at The Counter. We both had veggie burgers and then we went shopping in Santa Monica with L.

We celebrated Friday night at Vitello's -- a very yummy, old-school Italian joint in Studio City (also the scene of Bonnie Lee Bakely's last meal) -- and we had dessert at The Gelato Bar.















Saturday we woke up earlier than needed to watch the Russia v. Israel football match on TV (time difference issues) and then Mr. Happy and I headed out for lunch before checking out a punk show in the LA River. Lunch was at Casa Vega but it was not what Matt had expected. He said that when he thinks of California Mexican food he thinks of "lite and healthy" or burritos served out of stands next to car washes. Casa Vega was neither, it was more like Chi-Chi's (if you don't know the reference, you must not be from Pittsburgh!). Think heavy, saucy, cheesy, fried stuff. Needless to say, neither Mr. Happy nor I could risk being far away from a bathroom so we bagged the punk show and came home to watch TV.

This incident with Casa Vega drives home an issue I've been having for quite some time now here in Sherman Oaks: I am having trouble finding good, inexpensive, neighborhood joints -- what I call "go-to" restaurants. After 10 years in New York, I had a very good handle on go-to places. Even now, it is not unusual for me to get a text from my cousin in New York that says something to the effect of (or quite literally) "where's the place that serves free hot dogs while you're drinking?" And of course, I know the answer ("Rudy's 44th(?) and 9th"). So we're new here, and I know you can't cram 10 years of experience into a few months, but I am already bored with the Ventura Boulevard restaurant rut we've gotten ourselves into: Mel's, Cafe Marmalade, Le Frite, Corner Bakery, Baja Fresh...all too uninspiring.















I was trying to figure out why it was that I wasn't finding more interesting places to eat around here and it occurred to me that it's actually three things:
1 - We don't know anyone in our neighborhood
2 - We drive Ventura Boulevard more than we walk it and it's hard to see what's around when you're wooshing by at 45 miles an hour
and
3 - I'm not working!
It occurred to me that I got to know New York's restaurants because I worked with a foodie and paid a lot of attention to where she ate. I don't have a restaurant mentor here and I'm suffering for it.

But this weekend when a local blogger offered her email address for a local question or two, I took her up on it. She proved to be very hospitable! She not only gave me suggestions of where to eat in my neighborhood, she is helping me plan my mom's December visit!

But back to this weekend....Saturday night we went to see No Country For Old Men at the brand new Arc Light Cinema in Sherman Oaks. Arc Light is an upscale, RESERVED seating theatre that we can actually walk to! It was quite an experience (and quite a movie!) and it, like flying first class, may have spoiled me for "regular" movie theatres.

Sunday brought us to another great meal. Matt and I had lunch at Pizzeria Mozza, the LA version of my favorite New York restaurant, Otto. YUM.





























Unfortunately a wonderful meal was followed by a disappointing Steelers lost to the Jets (J-E-T-S) but all in all, it was a nice weekend.

In other news, despite the meals we consumed, all my pants are currently too big. A nice problem to have, but a problem none the less! I guess there is a benefit to not knowing where to eat!

Please, I NEED your help!!!!

I don't know if there are many of you out there reading this, but if you are, please use the comments section below (you can do so anonymously) to answer to the following question:

If you are invited to a wedding but you do not go, do you still have to send a gift?

If you answer anonymously, please identify yourself as male or female.

Thanks! You may be the person who saves my marriage!

Judgement Day

Judgement Day: Intelligent Design. Please, watch it. Good Stuff.

How much toilet paper do YOU use?!

So, I'm feeling better, but don't have much to report. The toilet is still on the fritz -- the landlord came by again and asked again if Sam and I use too much toilet paper. How do you answer a question like that? How do you know if you use too much toilet paper? I told him what I told him last time: SMS and I have known each other for 10 years, lived together for most of it and we've never had this problem. He is sending his ancient father by with an auger to try to snake the toilet again tomorrow or Thursday. Wonderful.

In other news, I built a grill. Yup, I built something that produces fire! And I cooked a pretty good meal on it tonight: Tuna for SMS, burgers for me and L, corn on the cob and roasted potatoes. I'm quite pleased with myself, though I wish I would have put on a better bra before L snapped this shot.













And I'm still unemployed. Sigh.

And writers are still on strike:













Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

Sick, Sick, Sick...

Ugh. I have a killer cold.

It started Saturday night with some stomach issues and turned into some serious clogged head action on Tuesday morning. Yesterday I was in bed/on the couch all day.

Today I am feeling a bit better, and I'm trying to force myself to take it easy. I'm trying to do laundry, but the washing machine is taking twice as long as normal, which is troubling. The toilet in the "master bath" is being screwy again, too, which is annoying and even more so because we have another house guest. We are very excited that our friends L&A are moving out from Manhattan and until their apartment is ready A is staying with us (L is back in NYC packing up). It's nice to have A around. We are blessed with friends with whom it is very easy to "fall back into place." I was reminded of that last night while we sat around eating Thai food and catching up. I was also reminded of that while I googled-stalked some old friends yesterday and reconnected with a bunch of New Yorkers this morning via email. The internet is a wonderful thing for sick girls on couches. :)

Today is also my last day with the Daniel Pearl Foundation. I have a phone meeting at 1pm and then I'm done. They were sad to see me go and I'm sorry it didn't work out differently, but, ah, such is life. So I'm sick, unemployed and haven't worked out since Monday. Sigh.

Stayed tuned for tales of (hopefully) more exciting adventures.

Thursdays

On Thursdays SMS and I go to couples therapy in Santa Monica. For anyone who may be worried about our marriage, remember, we spent 10 years together in New York, so therapy is just like, I don't know, exercise, or riding the train -- it's normal to us and we like it.

We like our therapist but what I get really excited about on Thursdays is dinner. We eat at The Counter on Ocean Park Boulevard every Thursday night after therapy and I love it!

The Counter is a place where you "create" your own burger. You can choose from ground beef, ground turkey, chicken breast, or veggie burger. You also choose your cheese, bun (or english muffin!), lots of toppings and your sauce. You can also have your "burger in a bowl" which means served on a bed of lettuce. SMS likes the chicken breast "in a bowl" and I like the veggie burger on an english muffin. I wish I liked the ground beef better because I love a good cheese burger, but I guess it's healthier that I like the veggie burger better. This week I stumbled on my favorite combination yet: veggie burger, horseradish cheddar, fried onion strips, lettuce, tomato and bbq sauce on an english muffin. Yum!

I can't wait to bring my mom and my brother -- I think they will like it as much as I do!

Tuesdays

Tuesdays are my days to play housewife. This morning I took my standard 40-minute walk around the neighborhood, took out the recycling, went to the post office, got my car washed, did the dishes and made lunch. I also managed to fit in some work on the enormous excel sheet that is consuming my working life. The car wash was rather exciting. It was my first time at this particular car wash (Handy J - voted best in the valley by LA Magazine!) and I was a little intimidated. It's not surprising that LA-ers are crazy about keeping their cars clean so the garage-like thing attached to the gas station doesn't quite cut it out here. I had been going to this place around the corner from us that has an early bird special M-T-W from 8am - 10am, but I wasn't thrilled with the results. When a coupon came in the mail for Handy J, I thought I'd give it a try. I was thoroughly impressed.

Handy J is one of those car washes you walk through while your car is washed -- it reminded me of the places we used to go to in Pittsburgh when I was a kid except here there are little tables and chairs for you to sit at while you wait for them to finish up your car. When I got out to the tables there was a girl about my age and a guy a bit older with large sunglasses on. I couldn't see where they had taken my car to finish it up (wash the windows, hand dry the whole thing, etc.) so I was a bit twitchy trying to figure out when it was done. At one point the guy asked me and the other girl if either or us had an SUV and it turned out it was the other girls. As she left to get in her car the guy and I started talking. Neither of us had been to the place before but we both had heard good things. He said he knew it was pricey but it he had heard it was worth it. I told him about the coupon I got in the mail and he seemed interested in it. As he was leaving to get in his Mercedes (like, the car wash was too pricey for him!) I realized I recognized his voice. All I could think was "Rob Morrow but geekier," and that's when it occurred to me: It was Miles from Murphy Brown!



















After "Miles" left a woman sat down next to me and we started chatting. I told her I was new to LA and she asked if I was liking it. I told her I did, but that I was still frustrated that I couldn't find work on a college campus. She asked for my card and told me that both she and her husband worked at UCLA. Very exciting day at the car wash!

Today's Man

Tonight SMS and I had the extreme pleasure of watching a film called Today's Man.

The film is a documentary about a young man named Nicky who has Asperger's Syndrome. I managed Nicky a few jobs ago at Manhattan Theatre Club and I'm in the film for a minute or two. It was hard to separate how much I loved the film with how much I loved BEING on film but I can honestly say, hopefully objectively, that it's a great film. SMS liked it because he said it showed the world from Nicky's perspective, in that most of what Nicky says in the film sounds perfectly reasonable and all of us "normal" people appear to be the ones with the problem. Is seems if we were only able to see the world the way Nicky sees the world, we wouldn't be so exasperated with him all the time -- and in the film it becomes apparent that his way of seeing things is no better or worse than our's, it's just different.

Anyone who read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and liked it will love this movie. So will anyone who has heard my numerous humorous Nicky stories but didn't quite believe them.

Today's Man will be part of PBS' Independent Lens series and will air nationally on January 8th. I'll send out and post reminders as that date gets closer.

For now, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Nicky stories, as to me, it really sums up what it means to work with someone who has Asperger's.

Nicky and I had weekly check-in meetings. To facilitate the meetings I asked him to keep a steno notebook with him at all times so that he could keep a list of his questions and concerns for us to go over at the meetings. At each meeting the notebook looked more and more haggard, many pages were ripped or falling out. I asked Nicky to please keep the notebook in better shape and he told me it wasn't his fault, it was a bad notebook. I explained to Nicky that I had carried Steno books in my bags for years and none of them looked like that. I went to my office to get my bag and brought it into the room where we were meeting. I pulled one of my Steno books out of my bag and showed Nicky that it was in pretty good condition even though I had been carrying it in my bag for months. Nicky looked at the book and very matter of factly said "Well you book is closed!" So I asked Nicky if maybe when he put his notebook in his bag he could close it. He said that sounded like a good idea and from that point on, we didn't have a problem with the notebook.

That's the thing about Nicky. He would do just about anything I asked, as long as it made sense to him. And there were lots of things that most people would do naturally, that they would do without a second thought because it was natural to them, that would never even occur to Nicky.

While I worked with Nicky I was often frustrated but seeing him on film helped me remember how much I enjoyed it, how rewarding it was and how much I learned from him. I may be considering another career change!

Cats Cats Cats!

So, Mae has been on Kitty Prozac for a month now -- and it's working! No more cleaning up pee from the carpet twice a day, no more waking up with a start in the middle of the night to the sound of our nearly 20lb. cat "marking" the carpet where she had just peed. We're getting more sleep and Mae is using the litter box for No. 1 and No. 2! The bad news is that the vet is keeping her on the Kitty Prozac for six months! We can't argue with it, as it's working, but six months! That's a heck of a lot of Prozac!

Caution: Fire Danger, Pt. 2

In New York City before September 11th when a subway train stopped unexpectedly between stations commuters would groan, audibly and in unison. In the weeks after September 11th, when a train stopped unexpectedly, the silence was palpable. People looked each other in the eye and shared a moment of silent terror.

I was reminded of that today while getting the oil changed at JiffyLube. Typically in a crowded waiting room, if you heard the siren of a fire truck go by, I'm not sure anyone would even react. Maybe you would think to yourself "I hope they make it in time." Or maybe, if you knew a firefighter, you would say a prayer to yourself for his or her safety. Maybe you would think about the family the truck was rushing to save. But not today. Today people looked up from their magazines. Instead of thinking about one family, I thought about the 350,000 homes that have been evacuated and the 10,000 people at Qualcom Stadium. E, my friend in New York commented that it would be weird to live somewhere where "raging infernos" are sort of "normal." She's right.

SMS and I are still safe. We can see the smoke in the sky, but today I haven't smelled it so much. I know of people who have been evacuated (friends and families of friends, parents of co-workers) and my thoughts are with them and with everyone personally impacted by this amazing and frightening display of nature.

Caution: Fire Danger

Since Sunday morning various areas of Southern California have been on fire.
Sherman Oaks doesn't appear to be in any immediate danger however you can hear fire engines racing by and you can smell the fire in the air. I can actually feel it in the back of my throat. There are warnings not to do outdoor activities and to stay inside with your AC on. The temperature is expected to reach 100degrees today, so that won't be a problem for me.

I'm keeping up to date on the fires on the LAFD's blog and you can, too, here.

Photo by the Top Shotta, July 2007, Northern California.

My Kinda Weekend

SMS and I have had a nice run of visitors and houseguests over the past few weeks. It has allowed us to get out and explore LA, spend time with friends and family, and eat at some fabulous restaurants! It was a good, albeit, exhausting time.

We're not scheduled for visitors for a while, and that's ok, too. This weekend was filled with local friends, old and new, food and downtime.

Friday afternoon SMS and I hung out at the Four Seasons in Westgate with our friends the McMs. Currently the McMs (J, B, their 10-month-old, M, and their two dogs!) are living in one room at the Four Seasons while they wait for their house in Agoura Hills to get ready. They recently drove here from Brooklyn, all five of them, and we're happy to have them around. J is working at the Four Seasons and B is comedian and director -- we met them on our honeymoon (which was also their honeymoon!) and in New York we saw them about once a year. We hope to see them more often out here!















After a dinner of ribs with the McMs we headed back to our 'hood to watch our friend's big night on Moonlight. Then off to bed!

Saturday we hung out around the house, did some damage at Ann Taylor Loft (thanks to my in-laws' birthday gift card!) and then headed out to meet a friend in Silver Lake for amazing (and cheap!) Thai and drinks at the Red Lion.



















Today I met a friend from New York for brunch in Los Feliz and then hiked with L in Wilacre. We just got home from an amazing performance by Mark Morris Dance Group and now it's off to bed...after I finish watching the Steelers (hopefully!) beat the Broncos.

And in case you're wondering what Henry and Mae did all weekend? They watched leaves blow by the sliding glass door!